All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth
by evenflo78
Summary: Sookie has a special request for Eric this year. This can only end badly. Do vampires go into shock? Canon'ish... not really. Some suggestive material. Caution: Do not read near small children.


**A/N: This was going to be my story for the Sookie's Secret Santa, but then I had another idea. And while I still loved this little ficlet, I thought the other was a better gift.**

**Anywhoo, I thought I'd go ahead and post this, since I've been remiss in updating anything else for the past few months. Gah, who am I kidding? I really suck. I hope you'll read and enjoy this anyway. **

**EtheHunter is sort of my hero. I love her.**

**Oh, just in case you didn't know, I don't own them.**

**SPOV**

"Come again?"

I roll my eyes at Pam's quirked eyebrow. I knew she was going to give me a hard time, but I didn't expect her to give me this much trouble. "You heard me right."

She leans over Eric's desk, where we're sitting across from each other. I'm trying desperately to have a serious conversation, and all she wants to do is make jokes. The back of her hand touches my forehead, then my cheeks and neck.

"You're not feverish." I swat her hand away, scowling. "Who are you, and what have you done with Sookie Stackhouse?"

"PAM!" I stand and place my hands on my hips. Pam's smirk tells me she's feeling really proud of herself. "I'm being serious. Will you tell me what to expect or not?"

Tell me, she does. Boy, does she tell me. Every gory little detail. By the time she finishes, I'm seriously reconsidering my decision. And about ready to vomit.

In the end, though, I'm determined. Certain. "So, it will hurt then?"

"Oh, yes," she says.

I cringe at the slightly satisfied grin on her face. Pam gets off on some really sick stuff sometimes, I tell ya. "How bad?"

Her grin twists even more. "So badly you'll wish you were dying."

Oh, jeez. I gulp. "And then what?"

She shrugs and leans back in the chair. It squeaks as her weight settles. "And then nothing. You'll feel...great, fantastic even." Her smile is devious. "Hungry."

I turn and walk towards the door. "Well, thanks for scaring the bejeesus outta me, Pam."

She practically beams, as if I really meant it to be a compliment. "You're most welcome. You know," she begins and walks over, her stare provocative and lascivious as she rakes me from head to toe, "I'd be most pleased to be there for you. You know? Lend a helping hand. Or mouth."

I groan in response. "I don't have time for your lesbian weirdness right now, Pam."

She feigns a pout. "Too bad. Maybe after," she says, looking wicked and eager at the thought.

"Not gonna happen," I say before walking out.

On the way home I think long and hard about what I want. I don't know why, because I know what I want, I feel very certain in my decision. But I also know that if there's even a niggling of doubt, and I ask Eric about it, he will feel it.

I want him to know, as well as feel, that I'm absolutely, positively sure about it.

And I am. It's the only reasonable solution there is, the only thing that makes sense. Maybe I haven't always been logical in my life, but I was always pretty smart, and I definitely learned something new with each life-altering experience.

Bottom line was, I was going to die one day. There was nothing I could ever do to change that. Be it from old age or an illness, car accident or even something as simple as death by cell phone – seriously, it happens; I read an article about it once. Point is, I'm going to die.

Admittedly, my life is usually a little more exciting than that. I'm more likely to die from accidental staking, maybe a wild and jealousy-crazed Were-chick, or a psychotic vampire that gets a little vein happy, but it all would end with me being six feet under.

Ultimately it came down to me being a little bit selfish. I wanted to be the one to decide when, and hopefully how, it would happen. I wasn't ready for it either, and let's be real for a second, having a vampire boyfriend, er husband, it could happen in any given moment.

And I still enjoy life too much to let that happen.

So, yes, I'm sure about my decision. Besides, if I do at some point eventually get tired of it, I can always go out for an afternoon snack, catch a few rays, if you know what I mean.

I'm equal parts excited and nervous when I pull up to the house and feel Eric waiting for me on the porch. I have no clue how he's going to react, I just hope it's nothing like Pam did.

Truth be told, I'm a little scared of how he might react. I'll admit I'd been pretty adamant about the no-turning-me-even-if-I'm-dying thing before, so this might be a bit like tossing a pebble into a placid lake.

Ah hell, who am I kidding? It'll be more like throwing a boulder into a glass of water. That can't end well.

No one had ever called me chicken, though.

I gulp down a deep breath and get out of the car, walking with determined steps towards my future.

Eric greets me with a breath-stealing kiss that leaves my head spinning and makes me forget to be anxious or a minute. _Well, hello to you, too._ I don't think I'll ever cease to be overwhelmed by him at times. "Good evening, my lover."

He sweeps me into his arms, and I wrap my legs around his hips instinctively as he carries me into the house. For a minute there, it's so easy to be distracted by him. Ooh, boy, is he tempting. And talented. That tongue of his.

But if I allow him to distract me, let him – oh god, that feels nice – then I know I'll lose my nerve. Then I'll miss my deadline, and I can't allow that to happen.

"Eric," I whisper.

"Mmmm?"

I whimper, his lips doing a number on my concentration. "I need to talk to you."

"Later," he grumbles. "Need you now."

"Oh, God." His deft hands slide from my hips to my breasts and back again and... _Hey, where'd my shirt go?_ "No, now. Talk now." I try to push away, but he's unrelenting. Ah well. I swallow hard. "I want you to change me."

Eric's hands and mouth don't miss a beat. "Hmm?"

"Change me," I whisper. "I want you to make me a vampire."

He freezes then, and I know I've got his attention. Slowly, so excruciatingly slowly, he pulls back and blinks. His hands fall to his sides, and I settle back on my feet, aching and breathless. He blinks again, then goes completely still, like only a vampire can.

I look around, almost embarrassed, find my shirt hanging over the back of the couch, and pull it over my head. I think I shocked him to sleep. I'd never done it before, but stranger things had happened.

I walk away a few steps, allowing him some space and watch him silently until I just can't take it anymore. "Eric? Say something."

He blinks some more before finally focusing in on my face. "Who are you, and what have you done with my lover?"

I groan and shake my head, laughing a little as I bury my face in my hands. Between him and Pam, and an eternity of having to put up with them, I know at some point, I probably will want to stake myself.

"I'm not kidding," I say, walking across the room and standing in front of him. I reach up to stroke his shocked face. "I want this."

"How?" Eric doesn't seem to know where to start. "When?" He touches my cheek and drags me to the couch, pulling me into his lap. I snuggle closer. "You're serious?" At my nod, he says, "When did you decide this?"

I can't place the exact moment I made the concrete decision, but I know he needs the reassurance that I'm certain. "It's something I've thought about for a long time, Eric. Years even. I'm ready for this. I'm ready for forever." I feel my face heat and my pulse race at my next fear. "If you'll have me?"

"Oh, Lover, there's nothing I want more," he says, smiling, his eyes so bright I can't help but staring. Then he starts to fidget and I can feel his growing excitement. It fuels my own. "When do you want to do it? There's no need to rush. We have time."

"Actually," I interrupt, then bite my lip, "I want to do it tonight."

"Tonight? But your change will take three nights."

"I know," I say with a small snort and a sheepish smile. "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth?" Best present ever. Immortality and an eternity with Eric. Can't forget the shiny new fangs, of course.

Eric's returning grin is crooked as he shakes his head at me. One of the many reasons I love him: he gets my jokes. "All I want for Christmas is you," he says seriously. I swoon a little, wondering if that'll ever lessen. I doubt it. "Alright, Lover. We can do it tonight."

I breathe out a sigh of relief. "Promise me something, though?"

"Anything."

"When I wake up, if Pam is there, don't take it out on me for ripping into her throat," I say with a grin. "She really scared the crap out of me earlier."

"Oh, Lover," Eric chuckles, "I won't let that happen. Besides," he winks and pulls me close, effectively distracting me by whispering in my ear, "I think she'd like that too much."

**Review if ya wanna.**

**Hope all of you have a wonderful Holiday. KISSES!**


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